Here is a great section on Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ website

“Brokenness is perhaps a word that you’re not very familiar with – but know that brokenness is very near to the heart of God. “True brokenness” says Nancy, “is an ongoing constant way of life. Brokenness is the shattering of my self-will, and the absolute surrender of my will to the will of God” (Brokenness, pg. 53). Pride, so often, is the opposite reflection of brokenness.”

Truth. Lots of it.



These verses gave me a lot of comfort today:

In You, O Lord, I put my trust; Let me never be ashamed; Deliver me in Your righteousness. Bow down Your ear to me, Deliver me speedily; Be my rock of refuge, A fortress of defense to save me. For You are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for Your name’s sake, Lead me and guide me. Pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me, For You are my strength. Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord God of truth. (Psalms 31:1-5 NKJV)

I was reminded that a huge part of brokenness, choosing to obey God’s will rather than my own will, is trusting Him!

May you be encouraged, as I am,



We were studying Romans Chapter 2 the other day, which led back to Matthew 7:1-5…

Matthew 7:1-5 (HCSB)
1 “Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged.
2 For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the log in your own eye?
4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and look, there’s a log in your eye?
5 Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

It struck me once again how God (Jesus in this case) concentrates so strongly on getting my relationship right first. I have to own up to the fact that if my own relationship with Him is not right, I have no business trying to condescendingly tell my wife, my children, my pastor, my counselor, my Christian friends, my non-Christian friends (in short, anyone) what they are doing wrong and what they need to change.

How can I possibly think that I have the right to demand someone else treat me with more respect, or forgive me better, or stop harping on the wrongs I have committed in the past, or “forgive and forget” when I still have so much sin in my own life?

What’s that, you say? I quit that sin, so I deserve a clean slate and better treatment? No, my friend, no!

Romans 2:3 (HCSB)
3 Do you really think—anyone of you who judges those who do such things yet do the same—that you will escape God’s judgment?

1 John 1:8-10 (HCSB)
8 If we say, “We have no sin,” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
10 If we say, “We don’t have any sin,” we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

Brokenness begins with me, with my confession to God and to those whom I have offended. Confession not just in the sense of spilling my guts, coming clean, and dumping all my garbage on someone else so I feel relieved of the burden, but the true meaning of confession: agreeing with God about the true nature of what I have done, agreeing that it is sin, and acknowledging how I have broken fellowship with Him and others.

Without true confession, true openness, there can be no true brokenness, and thus no fellowship with God or my wife or anyone else.

1 John 1:6-7 (HCSB)
6 If we say, “We have fellowship with Him,” yet we walk in darkness, we are lying and are not practicing the truth.
7 But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.

Think about it. Pray about it. Do something about it.




That is a question which plagues me. How do I know if I have really, truly changed?

I have had men say to me things like, “I quit looking at porn. I’m not sneaking off to strip clubs any more. How can my wife say I haven’t changed?!?”

We have to understand a couple of things. First, my wife didn’t even know about my hidden sin life, so why would she see any difference just because I have stopped secretly sinning?

Second, and most importantly, the bible speaks specifically to the fact that stopping, or putting off, the sin does not mean there has been a change of character. The bible says we also have to start doing something else, or “put on” a different character.

Ephesians 4:22-32 (HCSB)
22 You took off your former way of life, the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires;
23 you are being renewed in the spirit of your minds;
24 you put on the new self, the one created according to God’s ⌊likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.
25 Since you put away lying, Speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another.
26 Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger,
27 and don’t give the Devil an opportunity.
28 The thief must no longer steal. Instead, he must do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need.
29 No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.
30 And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption.
31 All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.
32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

So, instead of just stopping my lying, I need to start telling the truth. Instead of just stopping my sinful cursing and foul language, I need to bless others with my speech and build them up. All the bitterness and anger toward my wife and children has to be replaced with kindness and compassion!

What about the pornography, the adultery? Yes, it has to stop – but I also need to take pleasure and rejoice in the wife of my youth (Proverbs 5:18), showing her that she is my beloved and that my heart has truly changed.

I will know that I have changed when I put on the character of Jesus Christ, and my wife and children actually see that character living in me. pure and simple.